Blog 9

What went well in my first essay? Well at least I had alot to write about and I think it was a good story, you agreed that it was interesting lol. I was definately flowing when writing but I think that may have led to what didnt go so well with it, which was, as you pointed out, and I already knew that it was a bit disorganized and all over the place, and the focus was kind of unclear. So for my second essay or my revision i will try to work on narrowing down the focus to one more specific idea and really sticking with that and only writing details and parts of the story that are relevant to that. Also I am going to try to start right off with the action to try and draw the reader in as you suggested.