blog 12- which essay to revise

I plan to revise my second essay because i think that it is the better of the two. I think that is has a sharper focus and will be easier to refine where as my first essay is kinda all over the place and sorta just a story with no one clear point. As for how i will revise it, i will probably shorten it a little and leave only the pertinent details because the draft is kind of long because when i was writing i was really just flowing and getting my ideas onto paper but i know that it could use some editing and i think that i am going to have to take my obviously asserted opinions out of there because i know i really drove them in there blatantly but the other class you said that we should work and letting the story itself do that without necessarily coming out and saying it ourselves to drive it into the readers skull so i think i may have to work on being more subtle and disusing my meaning in the story instead of being so forward.